flashbacks to perform i (2020)
for solo piano

composed and performed in July 2021 by Polina Korobkova in Zürcher Hochschule der Künste

recorded by Quirin Oeschger

'flashbacks to perform' is my ongoing cycle of pieces. Each of them is a ritualisation of my personal memories, flashbacks, fails and, in a way, pain of touching the piano. I’m trying to reflect on what / how is it like to play from performer’s perspective; from my own, yet no longer existent perspective. I used to be a professional pianist for more than ten years of my life. Concerts, competitions and practising every day for around 8 hours used to be my routine activity. At some point, I started having problems with my left hand. I stopped playing the piano radically, just in one day. And I have never played a single note ever since.

All pieces are based on other works from 'famous' piano repertoire which I have played (or wished to play). I consider my material not sound, but physical and mental aspects of playing. How can one 'compose' the touch? And how can a pianist 'perform' a memory of the touch from another person?